Real Stuff

Sometimes when I sit down to blog I try to think of what have been big moments in the week or whatever. More often than not, though, there are tons of small moments. Some funny, some frustrating. All worth chatting with my roommate about, but sometimes when I write them out many of them don't make a great story. All this to say sometimes I have a hard time defining what is noteworthy about what is going on this week.

There's a lot going on, as there always is. Language school is fine. I laugh and learn a lot there. The boys centres are great. I laugh and learn even more with them. I spend a lot of time on busses. I am pretty amused there a lot as well.

Then there is also a lot, a lot, of stuff going on in this country. Lots of rumors flying. Political and religious things clashing. I have to be careful about what I share on here. But just trust me when I say that the Christian minority needs your prayers here. ...and will probably need them even more in a few months. And as a special request the centres where I volunteer are on church property. On any day these properties could be taken and the centre's shut down. This is the reality.

Fear is definatly a tool that the devil uses to stop us. To scare us. To prevent us from moving forward or moving at all. I deal with fear here. Not in terms of personal safety. I feel perfectly safe most of the time. But there are other fears that can be just as paralyzing. Fear of rejection, doing or saying the wrong thing, being culturally inappropriate, of being misunderstood. The devil messes with our minds and whispers lies in our hearts. Even in dealing with men here. I have to behave differently here in many ways than I do back home. Sometimes when I'm walking on the street or a guy sits next to me on the bus I can feel myself tense a little bit inside. The devil wants us to build up walls and become hard. Which...I do need to have those walls here sometimes. They protect me from worse situations. But I also need to keep my heart from going hard as well. God doesn't want his children to have hard hearts.

I'm babbling again aren't I?

Bear with me for one more rabbit trail.

Before I came to Sudan I had talked to enough people who had lived overseas and read enough books about it to know that spiritual warfare was something I was going to be dealing with in a more pronounced way here than in the states. But you know what I've learned?

That Jesus' name is power.

That the Spirit that resides in me is greater than anything in this world.

That I can walk without fear because when I breathe the name of Jesus, satan is defeated.

There are a reason they are called battles. Because battles are not easy. You have to fight in battle. I know that I'm really just scratching the surface on this stuff and that I am by no means an authority on it at all. But I know that God is always the victor. Always.

Before I came I was kind of scared of what I might encounter here, esspecially the spiritual warfare business. I remember people telling me stories and I'd freak out a little inside.

But can I tell you something? There are times that I have felt dark spiritual forces around. There was one night my roommate and I both had some pretty crazy dreams and felt a heavy darkness around. I woke up. I prayed. I told it to go away in Jesus name.

And I rolled over and went back to sleep.

I know its not always going to be that easy. But what I'm saying is that God is greater than our fears and that our fears are more paralyzing and terrifying than the actual danger that lies ahead. We don't walk alone my friends. And we have the book. We've read the last chaper. We know how the story ends.

We win. Am I right?

Jesus is the victor.